Our Guidelines

  1. Respect 

    • We hold a zero tolerance policy for discrimination and hate speech. Anyone expressing racism, sexism, homophobia, or other kinds of discrimination will be asked to leave the space. 

    • Please do not give advice unless it is explicitly requested by the person sharing, or unless you have asked for and received permission from the sharer to offer the advice. 

    • Speaking from your own experience: please keep in mind that, although many folks will share aspects of each others’ experiences, we never know the full story and cannot assume that our experience is the same as another person’s. Please respond from a place of humility, and avoid assumptions about another person’s experience. 

    • Please make every effort to come to groups on time. We understand that life comes up-- if you do have to come late, please try to minimize disruptions, understanding that this is a sensitive space.

    • Please do not use cell phones during the group. We know that folks may have important calls to attend to, and that is ok-- please just put your phone on vibrate and step out of the room (or off of the call) to take any necessary calls. 

  2. Active Listening

    • Please avoid interrupting others when they are sharing (and note, during our online folks, we mute everyone but the speaker to avoid background noise) 

    • If someone has opened themselves to responses after sharing a story:

      • Again-- please DO NOT offer unsolicited advice

      • While expressing empathy, solidarity, and shared experience is ok, please do not use this as an opportunity to share your own story-- instead, please use this opportunity to offer validation, a reflection about what someone has shared, or a question to help deepen their story (when appropriate / while respecting boundaries). More details and examples can be found below. 

  3. Confidentiality

    • Nothing shared within the group may be shared outside of the group

    • Please be mindful of the intersection of personal friendships and group boundaries-- note that folks may not want to discuss topics from the group in outside spaces. Ask permission and respect boundaries. 

    • For online groups: recording, screenshots, and listening without headphones in spaces where conversation may be heard by folks not participating is explicitly not allowed 

    • If at any point you suspect that another member of the group may be a risk to themselves or others, please reach out to us at groupcambridge@gmail.com. We request that any concerns be brought to the facilitation team in order to best protect the safety and confidentiality of our members, as well as to remove the burden of responsibility for group members, allowing each person to prioritize their own healing.

  4. Safety 

    • Sharing pieces of your story is allowed in this group-- however, please be mindful of the kinds of details that you are choosing to share, noting that explicit or graphic details will likely be triggering to other folks 

    • Impact over intent

  5. Sharing When Ready

    • No member is ever obligated to share, or to offer information that they do not feel comfortable disclosing. Every member always has the option to skip their turn speaking, to ask to speak at a later time, or to decline answering any question or prompt that they do not feel comfortable addressing.

Navigating Responses: Guidelines & Examples

In smaller groups, we often will give folks the option to receive responses from the group after their share. Knowing how to respond to someone’s story in this setting can be confusing and intimidating-- here are some quick guidelines and examples:

DO:

  • Offer validation (“That sounds really challenging” or “I really admire how you did _____”) 

  • Reflect back to the speaker (“It sounds like you’re saying _______”) 

  • Offer empathy/solidarity (“What you said about ___ really resonated with me”) 

  • Keep it relatively short :) 

AVOID:

  • Sharing a story about your own life-- although valid, this can detract from the speaker’s story and experience (“Your story reminded me about this problem that I faced …. “) 

    • A NOTE: the line between expressing solidarity and understanding and telling your own story is blurry-- and we get that. There are times when it is totally appropriate to name a similar experience in your own life-- but please avoid launching into a story here. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself why you are choosing to share this particular experience, and to be aware of how much space you are taking. 

  • Offering advice (“You should really _____”) 

  • Assuming that you understand the experience of the speaker (“I know exactly how you feel”) 

    • This is another tricky space! The difference between “I relate to what you’re saying” and “I know exactly what you’re going through” is subtle --we will all commit to doing our best to recognize it

  • Passing judgement about the speaker’s story or experience (“You shouldn’t have _____”)

  • One-upping or comparing traumas (“At least you didn’t experience ____ like I did”; “I understand what it’s like to be a victim of racism/sexual abuse/ etc, because I experienced_______”)